Wednesday, 1 January 2014

#197: Start the year as a new person

Has it been a year already? A year ago I started my list as a way to move on after my 9-year relationship ended. The List was something to do to get me out of the house and remind myself that there is still a very good life to be had, even if it didn't turn out as I thought it would. I created the list primarily as a way to keep busy, but along the way I seem to have found myself again and reconnected with the old (younger? happier?) 'me'. I found and tried new things that make me happy and got reacquainted anew with things I enjoyed in the past but for whatever reason I pushed aside and ignored because I was in what I thought was a happy relationship.

A year ago I could barely get out of bed. Oh, what a difference a year makes! While I still (slightly) mourn the loss of my relationship and my life back then, which I loved, I can now look back and see the positive side of it ending. Despite the hurt, I can now see that the compromises I made, out of love, over time slowly eroded my sense of self and identity and ultimately left me a shell of who I was when I first met my Ex. I literally lost myself in love.

One year on, I'm glad to say that I feel like I'm seeing the light again. I still have a ways to go to fully rediscover myself and what I want out of the next chapter of my life, but I'm heading into the new year in a completely different place than I started last year.

A year ago I set myself a mission to do 100 things by year end, as a mini bucket list. Now that the year has come to a close, I've found I did 196 things from The List. It helped change my life and helped me meet some amazing and special people.

I don't want it to end, so I'm going to carry on...but not because I need something to keep me busy. I'm continuing The List because I've realised I should never stop trying new things and seeking to do things that I might enjoy. The List has taken on a new life of its own. Good-bye Break Up List. Hello New Life List.

I'm kind of sad to see 2013 go, but am looking forward to a memorable and fantastic 2014! Happy new year one and all!

Photo credit: alexmillos: Shutterstock

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