Saturday, 4 October 2014

#282: Ask someone out

Wow, this is a big one for me.  To be honest, I'm not sure it's something I've ever done before, because:
  1. I'd need to find someone intriguing enough to want to get to know better. 
  2. I'd need to know (hope) that they didn't have some habit that while fine/unnoticable in small doses ends up annoying when you spend more time together. (Don't get me wrong, I'm far from perfect and have many - MANY - annoying habits. I'm just looking for someone I enjoy spending a lot of time with, with foibles that don't totally drive me crazy.) 
  3. To ask someone out you have to be bold and strong enough to risk rejection. And until recently I didn't have the strength to take being rejected, but I felt I do now. 
Which is a good thing, because rejection is precisely what I got...and I'm happy to report that I was actually ok with it. While admittedly I was disappointed, I wasn't devastated, angry or hurt. On the contrary, it felt good to be honest and tell someone I liked them. Spending the last 6 months alone has taught me that I'm really happy in my own company and so I'm not going to fall apart just because someone I thought was interesting didn't feel the same way back. Of course it would have been nice to have had a yes, getting turned down was actually probably much better for two reasons. One, I'm not 100% sure I'm ready for a serious relationship (though that's jumping the gun quite a bit here). Dating, possibly, but serious relationship is something I think I should try to avoid for a little while longer. (I still have a goal of 1 year of no serious dating afterall.) Secondly, it was good for me to learn that I can ask someone out and they can reject me, and my world doesn't end. 

Someone, somewhere, sometime may say yes when (not if) I ask again. They may say no. Alternatively, they may even beat me to it and ask me out before I get a chance to ask them (a girl can dream after all!). But my life will go on either way. 
While I struck out on this occasion, it's good to know I have a few more at bats left in me yet. 

Photo credit: wavebreakmedia, bikeriderlondon / Shutterstock

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